So I have a whole bunch of ideas and issues floating around in my mind at the moment.
I feel that the Internet is swarming with these incredibly talented and creative people and they are urging me to get on it and do more stuff.
I just spent ages reading things on Rookie Mag. Way back before I even had this blog I used to have a few blogs bookmarked and the original Style Rookie and Hipster Musings were 2 of my regular ones. They were regular reading and I loved that glimpse into their lives. Isabel of Hipster Musings has mostly vanished from my radar. But now Tavi has taken her blog and made something so much bigger and bolder with this online teen magazine that is something really special. She interviews everyone you could wish to hang out with like Joss Whedon and Emma Watson, and does it in their living rooms over banana yoghurt. Or so it seems. And then much closer to home my friend Kathy/Leena has this fantastic YouTube account where she makes really articulate interesting videos. And lots of them. Her energy and commitment to it make me want to do more, to write more, to create more. I have so many ideas! So many things I can do!
And yet, you see I haven't really blogged much all week.
In the evenings I've been playing computer games with my online friends and with my husband. I've been exhausted after every day. I've got over being ill but this first week back has been so sleepy. And then next week I'll be back in the swing of official things. I have my art classes and my Japanese lessons, neither of which I put the additional time into that I should. I find it hard to have that level of motivation to just go forth and make. On my day off I spend a lot of it sleeping and, even awake, my attention span isn't held by anything.
I want to blame the grey weather or the cold or the fact that my back hurts on this lethargy in the face of such good intentions. I tell myself that in the Summer things will be different. I will achieve things in the Summer. I will be a better person when it's warm. One who does Yoga and is inspiring to others. I will write poetry then. I will write about feminism the way I promise myself. I'll do that analysis of Agatha Christie.
I think if I spent less time alone I wouldn't spend as much of it downing self-analysis. I find myself more of an extrovert than I ever was before. I crave people and friendship. It is nearly always Andy and I, just the two of us doing our things together in our little flat. I'm always more energetic and ready to go just when he is near to me. But I want even more. Although university was a few years ago, I still miss so much the ability to go round and hang out with a friend at their house. Just being in the presence of the people I care about is so much more motivating. I wish I could just cart my laptop round and sit and blog at a friend's place. I want to feed off being with people.
I guess I feel a little lonely in our neighborhood. We've lived here nearly 2 years and it still isn't quite the home I want it to be. I don't really know where would be or whether it's because I haven't tried hard enough to find people. But it does make me wonder about the future.
I'm not sure where this post is going, it's more of an out pouring of thoughts so I shall swiftly direct them towards the pictures which otherwise will hang here rather innocuously.
|I suddenly remembered how much I like wearing frilly socks with winter boots. I've worn different girly socks for several days in a row now.|
Shirt, Jacket & Skirt are all H&M (I like that shop)
Hat and tights: Camden Market
Key earring: Christmas present