In January I felt all fired up about blogging. I decided that this would be the year that I really commit to it. I gave myself a goal, reaching the relatively small total of 150 followers. But then after a while just crossing 100 would have been enough for me. I really really tried. I got a new layout, I got a DSLR. My photos are better. I write more frequently. I write on varied topics. I got an ad on for a while. I have a pattern of outfit photos then not/toy posts usually. I post regularly, every Tuesday. I comment all over the place. I've really poured out my heart in some posts, shared so much of who I am here.
It's true, I've seen an increase in hits, and in comments. I love the people who do comment and stick with me, thank you so much. I really appreciate it. There are some people who leave really lovely thoughts and I feel like I've developed a comment-relationship with them. However, the fact that I've had more hits but not more followers seems like a sign that this blog is not a place people want to stick around at.
I have avoided writing this because it is such a pity post. However, I feel the need to get some of my stress off my chest as the year winds down and I reflect on what I haven't done. At what point is keeping a blog like this silly? I am not going to pretend I exist on a plan where external validation is not wanted. When I write something thoughtful about feminism, I like to know that other people have engaged with it. When I put up photos of my outfits, I want to know people like them. When I share my toys, I enjoy people celebrating the cuteness and joy with me.
If writing and posting photos was just for me, it wouldn't be on the Internet. Oh it is nice to have a record of my outfits for the last few years - but my Pinterest page does that for me. The longer I keep it going without seeing interest the more it seems like the world tells me this isn't worth it, that I'm all wrong. I feel like I'm speaking into a void a lot of the time rather than a community.
Of course, I enjoy blogging. I've got a lot more into photography and I like having a place to share the things that make me happy. It's just as the end of year approaches I can't help but feel a sense of failure. There's a number of anxiety issues that accompanies this pity. Am I boring? Am I not pretty enough? Is it my weird teeth?
In my head there are lots of things I still want to blog about - what does marriage mean, why do I hate Lone Ranger Lego, how can I wear that spotty hat that doesn't go with anything...
So I don't feel ready to let go yet.
And if blogging is dead, I wish mine had lived a little more first?
On the outfit front...
I'm wearing a velvet shirt that I found in a charity shop and a scarf that belonged to my Dad, and then everything else I'm wearing is from New Look. Even the necklace and the handbag. Except for the earrings. I made them that morning from my jewellery making kits just to go with the outfit. I haven't done that in a long time!
This is a very heart-felt and honest post, and one, honestly, I'm not quite sure how to respond to.
ReplyDeleteOn the broader level, I don't think blogging is dead. I think it is changing, possibly. Maybe it will all be micro blogging with Instagram and Twitter (though I don't think so). But how people are interacting with blogs? I think that is definitely changing and for a lot of reasons. I don't think people comment like once people did. It seems like people are much more passive consumers, especially with mobile devices becoming bigger, and with so many different ways to follow blogs and other online content. Not sure that correlates directly to how many people do or don't follow or read you personally, but I think on the large scales there is shift. What that means to bloggers or people, who knows?
As for your blog on an individual level.... I honestly think that there is a lot of competition for people's time and for their loyalties as far as reading blogs go. It's a "saturated market" so to speak. And improving content with interesting writing topics and improved photography and design etc. is important, but only a first step. It seems like there is a lot of strategy in marketing and in working with others etc that goes into it. And then luck or time too. Seems like all the "big name bloggers" have been around doing their thing for five or more years, which makes it partially a lot of hard work and partially lucky timing, for sure. Anyway, just wanting to say, I'm definitely struggling with figuring stuff all out too! And I definitely HAVE noticed the new layout/design and improved photography etc. It makes it even more fun to visit, especially with your quirky personality shining through.
Good luck as you figure stuff out and don't let it get you down too much (easy to say but harder to do I know).
Sweet lady. My heart aches for you.
ReplyDeleteI know how easy it is to feel like this. To not feel like your blog is making a difference, that it doesn't matter, that people don't care...I feel like this so often, too! It makes me so sad to see and hear how much hard work you've put into this blog and still feel like a failure---you are nothing of the sort!
You should be so proud of yourself just for even blogging. Think about what you're doing. Putting yourself unabashedly out there for the world to see the real you. To hear your thoughts, see your face, look at your outfits. It takes a brave and special person to do that! You don't need 1,000, 150, or even 100 followers to make a blog worthy. Your blog is worthy enough of all of the praise in the world simply because it is purely you. I am so proud of you and have loved to watch how you have evolved, grown, and changed. It would make me so sad if you stopped blogging, and if you ever need to talk about things I am here! Best of luck lady. I believe in you. x
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ReplyDeleteSomething weird happened with the comments I just posted and it says I deleted them (I didn't) sorry! But I think I remember what I said:
ReplyDeleteI can relate to how you're feeling, I went through a long stage where I evaluated myself by the amount of posts I'd written and the comments I'd received. The Internet and most (if not all) social media sites can be very unhealthy in that way. I would feel extremely anxious if I hadn't posted for a while (my most recent post was hurriedly written after I panicked upon realising I hadn't posted in 3 months). I would log onto Blogger and see that I didn't have any comments (or just got comments like "super cute" or "want to follow each other?" by bloggers who just wanted more popularity), I would feel really disappointed.
A blog is a place where you can post about anything, speak your mind and share as much of your life as you want. Having a blog (or any social media account) can suck you in like that and make you forget that you blog because you want and like to, not because of the comments and views.
I really like that your blog has posts on both outfits and gaming, toys, etc. and that you write about various things, and share your thoughts and views. It's one of my favourite blogs and I would be very upset if you discontinued it.
Andy's photos of you are lovely as always. And I love that you made your earrings that morning just to go with your outfit.
Wow.
ReplyDeleteSo, this is the first time I've read your blog, and it was definitely an interesting post to start with.
I think you say what a lot of bloggers (including myself) all think from time to time.
I have been blogging for several months now, and have made changes like you, such as buying a nice DSLR camera. I don't seem to get as many followers as I get comments, but I read so many blogs and comment on them, but can't possibly follow them all.
I'm still learning a lot about what works and what doesn't, so I really don't have any insight or advice, but I wanted to just say that I find your honesty really refreshing, so I will be following your blog on Bloglovin' when I'm done commenting.
Yes, I would love if you check out and follow my blog, but regardless, I'm following you!
I think people who don't blog can't understand completely, but I think it's a really awesome thing we all do, regardless of how many people "follow".
xoxo Jackie
Something About That
Great skirt, dear!!!
ReplyDeletehttp://adollwithoutstyle.blogspot.com/
If you want people to read your stuff, the last thing you should do is stop writing. I think it takes a while to get more followers, and as long as you stay true to yourself and don't write what you think people want to hear, you will find readers (or readers will find you). I really like your blog even though I've only found it the other day and I follow you on bloglovin.
ReplyDeleteThere are not enough people who speak their minds and are simply honest, especially feminists!
Also, thank you for your comment on my blog, the beauty you admired in the pictures is the black forest :) after seeing your Christmas playmobil scene, I think you would have appreciated the giant Christmas pyramide I saw at the Christmas market the other day (I posted some pictures on the blog: http://corybscorner.blogspot.de/2013/12/escape-into-past.html) (they're traditional German Christmas decorations which are normally about 30cm high).
xx
A thoughtful and above all, honest post that I'm sure resonates with many people who blog. Blogging HAS changed - I don't think it's dead, but it's certainly different. One of the differences is in no longer assessing the impact of a blog through the number of followers, but through the hits/page views. Yours have increased this year = reason to celebrate.
ReplyDeleteSaturation, plus increased clamour for attention from a kaleidoscope of conflicting voices on the internet, along with decreasing attention spans mean that I imagine that fewer people take the time to actually read my posts now, (after they've scrolled quickly through the photos) in comparison with say, two years ago. However, so long as someone is reading, I'm writing. I enjoy the variety of your posts; I like reading your reflections on different subjects and seeing your outfit choices. And I look forward to all those things you "still want to blog about".
Thanks so much for your sweet words, they made my day!
ReplyDeleteDon't stress out about where your blog should be and about page hits! I blog because (for some strange reason) I enjoy it, but also took a break when I didn't for some amount of time. Just trust yout gut feeling!
Have a great day,
-Kati
most definitely don't give up! I love this blog. a real mix too. it's one of the three I check when I do get around to reading.
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of the lack of commenting is device-based. It's easy to type on a laptop or computer but it's a right pain on an iPad and often quite frustrating on a phone. I've noticed myself be quite passive when reading on these devices, yet it's with those devices that I feel that I can just relax and read and not work or do other more interactive things. (perhaps because also of where one is when one can snatch a few minutes to read on a train journey or whatever, but not whip out a laptop).
your blog is a great mix of different aspects of yourself, all fascinating.
I think sometimes it helps thinking of it as a diary but a diary which you are better keeping as it is partly for others rather than just yourself (I have ten folders of letters which I wrote to a friend in that vein, right from age 13 to 20)
I'm one of those people who's awful about commenting and it's as the commenter above me mentioned, it's easy to do so on a laptop, very frustrating on a phone! My phone is the only source of internet I have aside from taking my laptop to town so I don't comment like I use to. I end up hitting every button and by the end, I feel like an idiot because of the errors. I know more and more people veiw through their phones now, two years ago i would get maybe a hit a week from a phone and now over half of my hits come from phones. Blogging is changing but I think the way blogs are vauled is changing as well, its more about the hits than followers and with more hits, more bloggers are signing up with groups like collective girl(or i think that's the name, all the bloggers who prommot tampons and orange juice work through them.). A lot of it is all about the branding and it feels like there's more of a push to steralize yourself and work on a bijillion different social platforms. I think in the end it depends on how true to yourself and how organiclly you want your blog to grow. I've given up on promoting my blog and have just focused on putting out the prettiest pics I can.(i can't say my content is great, i don't write really personal stuff and most of the time im so rushed i just skim the post and it ends up being error ridden. Ugh. But i have tried to put out pictures that im proud of.). I will say that i enjoy your blog because of your honesty, i'm not brave enough to write hardly anything personal and i really admire you for doing it. We all have those times when the blogs feel pointless and a lot of people just stop blogging. Please continue, just because i selfishly enjoy reading.(even when i dont comment because i flipping hate these tiny buttons!)
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