Hello. It's me again. Keeping it random I am back to fashion today but dipping into academics.
I don't know if you read Vice magazine, which has both good and bad points, but one of the things I like about it is that they do fashion shoots that are people doing interesting things in cool clothes. They then talk about the clothes and the thing they are doing. For example, I have one on mushroom picking in pretty dresses. It says where the dresses are from and what kinds of mushrooms are eatable.
My pictures today are similar.
I am holding a book on cyborgs because it seems that I am getting something published! I have been trying to get my dissertation published all year and have been passed around my academics saying 'good, but not what we want right now.' Finaly someone said 'good, but not what we want right now. How about something else.' So in the end I am writing on the Wolves in the Walls and Mirrormask by favourite author Neil Gaiman. I won't go fully into my essay until it is done, not wanting to give anything away, but it is exciting.
Very exciting. In fact this is one of my life ambitions coming true, but I don't want to leap about too much in case when I submit the final thing they 'retain the right to deny publication' but for now I am doing (academic) reading again!
On the outfit. I love this dress to bits. I only had time for a few photos because the camera battery was dying so you can't get all the details. However it has a huge bow at the front and little ties at the side as well as the interesting collar.
The thing is, looking through these photos, I hesitated about putting them up here because I feel I look fat, even though the main reason I love the dress, before all the above details, is that I think it suits my figure. I'm having a bit of inner conflict at the moment with the fact that I have undeniably gained a fair bit of weight this year, meaning clothes I love are now uncomfortable and don't fit. This makes me embarrassed and annoyed. On the other hand, I have bigger boobs too, which is always nice even if I have to buy new bras. I'm trying to embrace the term 'curvy' but the difficulty is: I don't look like how I imagine myself. I think of myself as looking like I did when I was 16, which was rather stick like in figure. When a mirror springs out on me I am surprised by how I look and so don't really know how to deal with this change in appearance. The word 'curvy' seems to have a kind of power but I'm almost afraid to use if about myself as though I don't deserve it, that I'm not curvy enough to get the word, but then I'm not sure how to describe myself and my figure otherwise.
I don't know where I am going with this point, but as it is occassionally a fashion blog I thought it was worth mentioning. Mostly because I feel, I owe it to put up photos of myself where I look less than perfect because otherwise it seems like lying and conforming.
You have absolutely no need to worry about your weight! You.Are.Beautiful. Just know that. I too struggle with accepting my body at times. I look at my legs and thighs and feel like they are huge and I'm disgusted. But the truth is that they're not that large. And you're not as large as you think you are either. We all have these skewered views of our bodies and what we think we look like and what we do actually look like.
ReplyDeleteNo body is perfect (not even model's!), but it's so very important to love our bodies. Every single part of them.
You are wonderful! Never forget that.
Couldn't agree more with Lauren. Plus, my first thought when I saw these photos were "daaaaayyyym, she's not only smart and an amazing writer but she's also h-o-t!".
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